I rather time never existed

Dear diary...

Sunday, May 25, 2008

7:40 AM | its not that easy after all.

I'm not the type to get my heart broken
I'm not the type to get upset and cry'
Cause I never leave my heart open
Never hurts me to say goodbye
Relationships don't get deep to me
Never got that whole in love thing
And someone can say they love me truly
But at the time it didn't mean a thing

My mind is gone
I'm spinnin round
And deep inside
My tears I'll drown
I'm losin grip
What's happenin
I strayed from love
This is how I feel

This time was different
Felt like I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life
Now I'm in this condition
And I've got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what, you'll never see me cry

Did it happen when we first kissed
'Cause it's hurtin me to let it go
Maybe cause we spent so much time
And I know its no more
I should have never let you hold me baby
Maybe why I'm sad to see us part
I didn't give it to you on purpose
Can't figure out how you stole my heart

How did I get here with you I'll never know
I never meant to let it get so personal
And after all I tried to do
To stay away from lovin' you
I'm broken hearted I can't let you know
And I won't let it show
You won't see me cry

This time was different
Felt like I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life
Now I'm in this condition
And I've got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what, you'll never see me cry
All my life

these few days wasnt as happy as i thought, had fun when i was outside with my friends. made a confession few days back but i know it impossible. someone tell me im stupid alrights! because i really am, sometimes i just hate myself for being so stupid. letting go of something i know that i'll regret and hurt myself real deep in the end. the lies and everything i said to him, i admitted it to him, i told him all those was just to make him give up on me. but then it wasnt what i wanted it to be at all -.- IM STUPID! i can only blame myself for doing all these. im fine alr, away from all these things and stuff, and i've forgotten about him(: finally, those msges that come, it doesnt seem to affect me anymore, im glad about it (:

saw a fight at poppa that night when i came out for a cigg-.- like so wtf can !!! the guy got this fucking yaya payaya face, then in the end he kena beat until rabak bodoh ! but then he stand up and walk away like nothing only lo!! knn, step only laa horh, play cheat one sia he, people use hand use leg, HE USED HIS BELT CAN!!!! *whips* woah -.- *sweat laaaaa* zxczxczxczxczxc -.- lamers laa, fight for what??? sit down play chess laa, who win then who win lo, lose alr dont cry! uh luhs, whatever -.-

uhhhhs, got my ankle injured agns, after the injury last week recovered like 3 days back, went to poppa last night agns, and i got it injured agns! didnt sprained it last night laa, but then the pain come i didnt want to bother luhs. then i continue doing. improved alot okays (: my side steps are working alr, running man( ABIT MORE LAA) then my JUMPSTYLE (((((: i think its good! lols, half turn, full turn. bleahhhssss !!!!! zxczxczxczxczxc im proud of myself, left leg also can luhs! you all can anot !!!!! LALALA~~~ okok, i better not be so yaya also laa horh! later kena beat x= bleahs, should be staying home these few days, the tickets for the party is with me alr, 100 okay! STRESS -.- will be meeting up with my comsumers and my customers to pass them the certain amount of tickets they need and i gotta teach them how to do the registration laa -.- wahlao, LAYCEH LAA DEY~~~ uh luhs! then i think should be staying home to focus on my studies for the rest of the time alr, gotta stop going out too much alr, before sirong comes back from taiwan after his COMMANDO training, MATI laa me -.- he go for a mth, everyday i also go out, other than the days that i was sick (: LOLS okok. i shall go drink some hot milo then study abit before i go to bed then (: shall update agns tonight hopefully i wont be going out ? LOLS!!