Dear diary...
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
2:01 PM |
ok, i admit. im lazy to blog nowadays. really no mood leyy, not i dont want to. dont know what happen to myself, but just felt as if the sky's crashing down on me any moment. but i try ti withstand anything that comes. even if i cant, i will have to do it. by myself, i will forget about him, him and him. im really tired of all these alr, really tired. tell me why is all these happening so quickly? i didnt do anything to gain all these from anybody, leave me alone will you guys. put yourself in my shoe and maybe you'll know why im saying all these. telling me how you feel wont make me feel any better instead makes me worst. wanting me to understand how you all feel, then put in the fking effort to know what im thinking first then. if you think you're the one thats being cheated, the one being the fool then what am i? so you think people only talking about you all laa? rumours everywhere, so what am i suppose to do? then maybe its my fault from the very first day to step back to batok agns i guess, cos if i didnt, all these wont happen right? so maybe i should stay further away from there? this is what you want isnt it? the way you talk to me shows that you want things to be this way, talking about me leaving you alone there and making you look like a fool, talking about the way i talked to you and the way i ignored and neglected you like i never did, talking about the days you spent with me and talking about the key. have you ever spared a thought for me at all? i know youre tired, i know you dont feel good, i know how you mind those people disturbing and talkinf about it. but dont you think i mind those and think about those days too? reason for ignoring you at times, neglecting you at times and didnt want to get so close, i had my reasons for them. i told you before, i dont want anything to happen. now you get the meaning of how WEIRD when two strangers becomes friends, more than friends, till they get together, then back to friends and back to strangers agns? no point tellling me you understand all these now cos it doesnt means anything anymore. you know how i felt, no you dont. you know whats on my mind, no you dont. know how i didnt wanted things to end up this way, no you dont. i guess afterall you might think im being unreasonable, being naive. but if you were to think back, i told you all these things from the very start before all these happened. i know what i want and what kind of person i am, i know it well so i didnt want to hurt you either, but yet you insisted. all i can say now is, sorry.
these few days, spent my time at batok recently. andy's bday, slacking at batok and slacking at batok agns(: although its kinda bored, but i did enjoyed the fun we had(: then watched money not enough agns with my friend. then mahjong agns. went for hanbing's bday ytd. ok, fking stupid. darling kept quarreling with kazua, super funny laa -.- told her to stop alr but then she still wanted to quarrel with him. LOLS, nobody ever dared to do it before i think. lols, as in respect laa. but she didnt bother, so we kept laughing(: lols. enjoyed my time there but didnt smile much though. then drank alot there. then went over to bangkok for more drinking. came back home by cab, dropped darling first then i alighted at esso. bought household stuff, $60. yes, i spent $60 at esso, the things there super ex but i lazy to go ntuc the next day mahs (: LOLS! ok, so came home, talked on the phone with who also i forget alr, then slept in the afternoon cos i watched show all the way(: woke up ard dont know what time by ivan's call. then watched show agns, then went down to eat with ivan and yuanqing. then after that darling, gavin and zy came along. ok, i think im gonna stop here. SUPER WORDYYYYY ALR (: meeting ling tomorrow(: she better not dua me(:
